Wife having emotional affair part 4

[sandi2]

Good job. I want to comment on what you told her, and please understand I am not criticizing, but hopefully give you a little warning.

Now that you have made the speech about not controlling her, only yourself, and all the other DB statements you have gotten off this board, please don't make the mistake of repeating any of it again.

Do you know how many men have posted about using this same little talk on their WAW's,......and almost word for word. It is fine, if you just use it one time. Otherwise, it does sound more like you are repeating something you have read. I'm not saying you did anything wrong (wish you had done this in the beginning), just giving you a tip not to repeat the same statements b/c it sounds too rehearsed and written by a different author. Okay? You know how you feel when watching someone pantomime someone's song? Make sure it is your voice and your words she hears, and not someone here on the board or out of a book.

It's like when newcomer LBH'S read about boundaries. Then suddenly they are like a parrot repeating stuff about their boundaries until it loses it's authenticity. A WAW may be wayward and in a fog, but there is one thing she knows very, very well.......and that is her H. She knows if that is really you talking.

I am sorry your family is having to deal with this stuff during the holidays. (I have experienced some bad Christmas's in the past.) We do survive. It can cause us to get better perspective on the true reason for celebration of the season. I pray for you and the children. I believe you will do your best for them, and what more is there.....but your best.

I noticed the positive note at the end of your post. I think it shows you have grown through the pain.