"There was a poster here a few months ago named Thornton who went through six(?) weeks of complete darkness with his wife.... Well, after a couple of months he finally got the green light from Wonka to send her a joke via text. Over about a month or two that one joke blossomed, very tentatively, into a reconciliation. Turns out all that cheerful stuff she was putting into the world was a huge mask. She was miserable but didn't know how to find her way back to him."

This struck a chord with me. H and I haven't seen each other for 3 months, and haven't spoken for 2 months. We text once a week or so about house/pets stuff. Texts are just pleasant and functional.

As far as I know at this point, he has decided our M is over and that he wants a family with someone else. He is still involved with OW - but things sound pretty unsettled there.

Is staying dark the right thing at this stage? What if he is miserable and can't find his way back? But it sounds as though his mind is made up against our M and there's nothing I can do for now.

Just having a big moment of doubt. Any thoughts anyone??

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus