Job, well put, a “friend”, haha. Even though I came up with that scenario, I still have a hard time to see H being sneaky like that when in his mind our M is over and he is a free man. But, it might be wrong and he is actually hitting a new low for him. Maybe he discovered that telling the truth about his situation up front doesn’t get him anywhere with more or less decent women.
Or, maybe the fact that he didn’t inform me about new phone number means that I’m just not that important. Well, so is my son and my sister and family…
Heather, thanks so much for such a thoughtful and encouraging post. Yes, he is pathetic in his search for the “harmonious” relationship and perfect OW. Even our mutual friends keep telling me this.
And this brings me back to Job’s post:
Originally Posted By: job
Many of them don't acknowledge their family and friends when a holiday rolls around. I think your h is a very slow MLCer and he's just hit the spot where they don't have much contact. I could be wrong, but I don't think so.
Job, you confirmed what I was thinking too. I know that you are very rarely wrong. I trust your experience and knowledge. I have an intuition and history with H. I think you are right about this, so is my intuition. I think he is cycling more right know. With his job situation which forces him to stay put in the state where it is snowing and freezing right now… He hates cold weather. But he cannot leave and stay at the vacation home because he didn’t make enough money this year. He is a slow MLCer because he is extremely stubborn.
At the same time I’m doing great with my job and now with the side gig that will make me some money. And I travel to the vacation home more often and bring all kinds people with me (his dream.) So, I can see how I would be the enemy right now. Even though he would never admit it openly, but deep down I think it bothers him.
I’m also pretty sure he heard some opinions about me from the people at the vacation home, how wonderful I’m. I’ve actually heard that his new friend from last year, who I just met for the first time last weekend when I was there, told someone that I was beautiful. I’m sure he heard from our mutual friend’s how much I’ve changed and how I became even better person. I make sure that I tell my mutual friends about all my new friends from work and all the activities I’ve been doing. I know that a lot of this info gets relayed to H.
I’m sure this is not what he wants to hear at this time. He is probably trying even harder to distance himself from me and convince himself that he did the right thing. I know that any potential OW is not going to be even close match to me. Plus, when H gets a new friend or a “friend”, he can be in communication with the person 24x7, full of excitement and hope. Then the person says or does something that H doesn’t like and which he didn’t expect from that person, and it all can end very quickly.
Anyway, I have another potential encounter coming. I think H will be flying back to “cold” state from my city on Monday. Will see what happens. He could take a bus and to go strait to the airport. Or, he could drive his car (that was sitting at the vacation home with the dead battery, because nobody drove it), park it at his brother’s house, or he could ask me to park it on my driveway. It still bugs me that he would not try to see my son when he is passing through the city.
Oh, forgot to mention. When I gave H his mail on Monday, there was an envelope with the new road side assistance card. We still have a joint account, I paid the whole bill and didn’t ask him to contribute. I haven’t heard a “thank you” yet. Maybe it just rubbed him in the wrong way and he is mad at me for that, LOL.
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
