Busting this Divorce - Standing Firm

[Wonka]

HP,

I am siding totally with Starsky on the not revealing your intel. Just state matter of factly that you know that the contact is still ongoing and that you'll not tolerate the constant lying, half-truths, or lying by omission. Starsky has given you a good script to put the kibosh on W's lies.

You ask:

I want to give her reasons to choose working on the M.

By becoming the kind of man that only a fool would leave. Seriously. Go back to your previous thread. We all worked together to come up with a game plan which is very good for you to stick with. Keep working on yourself, GALing, and doing some serious, permanent 180s that you can live with for the rest of your life regardless of what W does or does not do.
After all, this is YOUR own life to live. No one else can live it for you.

Maybe a good time for her mom to step in.

We advise against bringing in family and friends because it just muddies the waters and complicates things for you and W.
Leave them out of it.

Honestly... I'm tired of all this back and forth with her. Figuring out how to respond to her... when and which texts to answer... when to answer her phone calls. I don't call or text her at all. She seems to temperature check me with a light text like "Me and boy are having a great time!" She did that just now. I answer with "Happy to hear it" 20 minutes later. (maybe I shouldn't.) Then she'll immediately texts multiple questions like "what are you doing?" "when will you be home?" or "I'm going on a trip home! Do you want me to take the boy?"

Are you saying that you prefer the alternative which is acrimonious relations with W?? Is that what you REALLY want? Count your blessings, HP. As I said in the validation tip sheet, you can mirror WAS with KISS responses. Detach from them like you would text a good friend from college days.

At times like this, I'm starting to not want anything to do with her. It's like she wants me to be the bad guy who is responsible for ending our M. So she keeps pushing and poking me to so she can say things like... "well I offered MC but you didn't accept," or "well I tell you where I'm going but you are still suspicious," or "I call and send texts but you're not talking to me." It is maddening how she's expecting reasonableness from me while she acts in ways that she knows are deeply hurtful to this family.

Mindreading at its finest...yours truly!

I'll have to make another list of what I'm doing so I can feel clear again.

You don't need to make another list. The original one back in your previous thread is a very GOOD one. Stick with what' has been working so far. You are all over the place emotionally and you need to find your center. The holidays does a number for many, many posters...especially newbies.

Don't let the June "deadline" bother you so much because a lot can happen between now until then or even beyond that. This is precisely why we don't like to put a hard number on a deadline because DBing isn't always a linear process.

FYI, Ms. Wonka initaited a text wishing me a Happy Thanksgiving and gave me some tidbits on food and weather. We exchanged a few then it has now all ended for now (probably until Christmas). Guess what? I am perfectly okay with it and not reading too much into it. Why? Because I am detached and not too concerned about the outcome. I simply enjoyed the exchange and did not expect a dang thing. I've kept my expectations at zero. As a result, I am not bothered by her actions or lack of actions.

I am living my own life. I don't look at the review mirror constantly. If I did, I'd crash into the tree for sure!