I stopped notifications on my H's FB page but every now and then I check it. He's with my kids visiting his family in another state. His pictures show him grinning hugely, photobombing his sister's serious pictures, and generally acting like a college kid.
I could read into that that he's DELIGHTED to be spending Thanksgiving weekend without me, but I don't actually think that's really true. I think my kids are a constant reminder of me. Especially the boys who look a lot like me, and S6, who sleeps in my bed every night and certainly misses me. I packed their suitcases, so every day they get dressed is a reminder of me. And the way his sister treated me yesterday (kindly and excited to chat). And I know he didn't leave the room when she was talking to me because I could see his reflection in the glass behind her.
There was a poster here a few months ago named Thornton who went through six(?) weeks of complete darkness with his wife. It was excruciating for him. EVERY DAY, often 2-3 times a day, he would come here and cry about how he just wanted one little sign from her that she missed him. She posted all kinds of happy things on FB and he would cry because she looked so happy. Well, after a couple of months he finally got the green light from Wonka to send her a joke via text. Over about a month or two that one joke blossomed, very tentatively, into a reconciliation. Turns out all that cheerful stuff she was putting into the world was a huge mask. She was miserable but didn't know how to find her way back to him.
They got back together and we heard less and less from him and now I think he's just off in happy land being happy.
The lesson is: Don't try to interpret!! When they are lost they are just floundering and the messages look conflicted because THEY are conflicted. They want, they fear, they want something else. Just stay the course and be the person you want to be.
Here's one more, just because...
The difference between hope and faith. Hope is you in your boat and her in her boat, and you keep trying to hook the boats together. She keeps throwing away the rope and telling you to shove off. So you unhook, you take your own river, in faith that your rivers are both going to end up near one another when the stream comes together again.
Hope that helps. Don't let the zombies eat your brains! Throw them a cauliflower instead!!!
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
