Paul, have you read information regarding the subject of personal boundaries in a relationship? What I am seeing in your stitch is a woman who is not only a WAW, but she is wayward. You have said yourself she gives you S-tests.
Can you tell when your children test boundaries to see how far they can push you before you call a halt to it? Well, adults do the same thing, especially someone they don't respect. The WAW is infamous in pushing boundaries. If you have no boundaries in place, then you will not only lose your relationship, but also your self-respect will take a dive. The very fact that she was acting in a such flirtatious manner with OM that he thought he could kiss her right in front of her H and children..........speaks volumes.
I suspect she knew you were watching her every move (b/c that is what new LBH'S do), and yet she continued her display of open disrespect. You are a man. Without her respect, you don't have her. Are you listening? A woman cannot have loving feelings for a man she does not respect. It goes hand in hand, b/c that is how women were designed. She has to respect you as leader, protector, provider, and head of the home......or it is nothing more than a pretense of being a couple. Oh yeah, she will test you (b/c that is what women do, especially a WW), so more reason to know your own limits and make certain she knows.
So think hard about what you will not tolerate. Think about the values you would die for, and won't live without. I hope respect is high on that list.
DBing is not complicated, but it is not easy to do. Never mistake it to imply you are to roll over and play dead. It makes my blood boil at the men who thinks being a doormat will draw their W back into the MR, when it actually does the opposite.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
