Wife having emotional affair part 4

[3kids]

Well I either put an end to my marriage or put an end to some cake eating.

So she keeps telling me she has ended it with him kind of sorta. Then came yesterday.

I picked up the kids to go cut our tree and have an awesome day. On the way they tell me that they went to a movie with OM and mom. So that's how done they are. Well there went my thinking, so as the day went on and I calmed down. Thought how I would approach her and the convo would go. Had a blast with the kids, Santa and the whole thing, awesome awesome day! Went to drop off the kids and asked her if we could discuss Christmas plans. She said well we could do it tomorrow night and I said no it will only take a couple of minutes. Kids chimed in and said you guys could do it tonight, we are going to grandmas. I said no your moms probably busy tonight, right. She gave a smirk and said yes( this is why she declined me one week ago to do anything last night with out the kids, OM in town). When we got alone I told her how we should do Christmas, I get the kids Christmas Eve with my family and she could have them Christmas morning and if she wanted she could let me have them for a couple of hours Christmas Day or my presents could wait until I get them back on Sunday. Angerly she said that's fine. (She wanted Christmas morning to be us both together and kind of split the presents). I stated if kind of done with OM is still going out with him and my kids. Then we should continue on our same path of divorce and not confuse the kids any with Christmas. (I was not angry or upset just stating a fact). She said I don't need to be told what to do or questioned. I said I am not at all doing either of those. I can only control myself and you control your self. She said he is not anybody that I want to have a life with or move in with or live with. She said there is a right choice I have to make and a wrong choice. There is a way I want to go in life and a wrong way to go in life. I said ok I think I understand then he is the way you want to go and I am the right choice for life. She said that's not what I said. I said I'm sorry I don't understand. She said when I choose to be with you, I won't be able to have a relationship with his mom whom I am very very close to. I said I can't stop you from doing anything. She said but every time I would go to see her you would think I am going to see him. I said that's where trust would come in. She said I don't want to think about this stuff right now. I have two weeks left of school (semester) that are very important to me. After that I have to focus on Christmas, living place, and life(he is back for two weeks). I said that's fine, my intent was not to discuss all of this, just Christmas. Just so you know I will not wait forever for you and I'm going to go back living my life like I should. My intent is not to hurt you my intent is only not hurt my self or my kids. She said I'm not trying to hurt you. What about gifts, we should talk about what each person is getting them. I said they have two house so it's ok if they get the same gifts(sad look on her face). If you choose to actually end it with him then maybe give me a call and we could talk. But until then back to normal for us. Goodnight.

This was not to control her but stop the cake eating. She can't have all the family fun of Christmas and coming over lately and stuff. And still be able to have OM. She is making the choice that if she knows her relationship with him is not going to go anywhere to continue it. She is also making the choice not to be part of my life then. I even told her that it's not to control her and I can only control myself. So the drug got back into her system and she knows it's wrong and won't work but can't give him up. Funny she even talks about dreaming of me lately. Man I hate this roller coaster. I think I'm getting closer and closer to being really and I mean really OK either way she chooses to go. Starting to look forward to my bright future with or without her.