I have learned in my life that we basically teach people how to treat us, through either strong or weak boundaries, and through our own behavior and morals and ethics. I never allowed my wife to lie to me knowingly during her affair, and I still don't. She expects the same from me and we hold our own children and friends to that same standard.
Also, I disagree with Wonka about exposure. It worked for me, and although DB doesn't advise it many other infidelity programs do, and with great success. It's well within the mainstream of classic infidelity research and teaching, even if it's not for everyone.
