... W should be home shortly from her overnight she says she spent with a girlfriend. I see how looking for lies in what she says is very painful for me. It was very hard to see her lie smoothly when all this started and now I take this worse. Like, the other day she mentioned her period started again. I'm used to her telling me this from before... but now I immediately think she's lying to cover herself (she was absolute to me about no sex while on her period). Thinking that way... parsing everything she says... contributes to my very bad moods. I told her when this started... it's the lying that I allow to hurt me very badly. I just have to stop doing this. It can't matter to me what she says. I have to accept that she lies and not take it personally. Have things to do during the day to keep my mind active...
Is there anything else I can do to handle the lying better? Enough about her now. Time to shave my head... ice cold shower... face the day. Time for courage and good decisions. Just find ways to feel happy.
I can do this today.
Hi HPoirot,
My WAW also would tell me when her period arrives. I think it is odd, but when my W did this I would give her an arm waving celebration. "Yay, that's good news". I thought I was being funny. Then I started to keep track on my calendar, and it matched up. So who knows?
I guess my point is that maybe she is not lying on some of this. I know you have in the past dealt with your W lying. Why not act "as if" she is telling the truth about her overnight stay with a girlfriend? Your reaction should be the same either way, right?
You are doing good work by keeping the focus on yourself. Keep working on that.
