Busting this Divorce - Standing Firm

[HPoirot]

I managed to get good sleep last night. Made sure with sleeping pills. Feeling better this morning. Will work on my business today.

W should be home shortly from her overnight she says she spent with a girlfriend. I see how looking for lies in what she says is very painful for me. It was very hard to see her lie smoothly when all this started and now I take this worse. Like, the other day she mentioned her period started again. I'm used to her telling me this from before... but now I immediately think she's lying to cover herself (she was absolute to me about no sex while on her period). Thinking that way... parsing everything she says... contributes to my very bad moods. I told her when this started... it's the lying that I allow to hurt me very badly. I just have to stop doing this. It can't matter to me what she says. I have to accept that she lies and not take it personally. Have things to do during the day to keep my mind active.

Is there anything else I can do to handle the lying better? Should I communicate to her that her lying is unacceptable to me? In one of her letters, she agreed her lying about OM is disrespectful and unacceptable (words she used) and then she moved herself to the couch (confirming all the bad things she's said about herself instead of trying to change). She does not act much like she has an issue with shame and confidence about her choices now. What is psychology of that and how difficult does it make my sitch?

Enough about her now. Time to shave my head... ice cold shower... face the day. Time for courage and good decisions. Just find ways to feel happy.

I can do this today.