New & seeking advice on what to do

[DaneMom]

Thank you Wonka. I did contact and put a retainer on a lawyer. Am located in California where the D will be finalized within 6 months from me being served assuming we come to agreement on assets outside of court or if that is not possible the 6 months is assuming the courts process our case that quickly. Everything we own has been acquired together since we've been together since we were teenagers, so 50/50 down the middle with all of it. H sent over a proposal on how to divide the assets. He's not trying to be unfair by any means as he was just trying to get the $$$ to work out fair and evenly. However, I am not in agreement with his proposal and he thinks me hiring a lawyer means I don't trust him. So he is hurt. But I recognize I need to make sure I am protecting myself just in case.

25 - Thank you also. I will admit I am struggling a bit with identifying my 180s. One of H's biggest complaints has always been that I don't open up and communicate my feelings. My tendency is to hold everything in and not talk when things are bothering me. (Bad habit learned from my parents). I was always afraid that my emotions would get the best of me and I'd say things in the heat of the moment that I'd regret later. So I just never talked about the things that were bothering me... instead I'd become passive aggressive with him.

Another complaint H has about me is that I tend to 'control' everything. So now I am trying to figure out how to I not come across as controlling but still stand up for myself as far as it comes to the divorce and division of assets. He's accused me of making all the important decisions throughout our marriage, so I am trying to take a backseat to all this stuff and let him do called 'drive' it. But its frustrating when he asks me what to do or how I want to handle something. Because I am learning that when I answer and he goes with it... it later comes back to bite me with him stating I dictated the decision ....