Seriously don't know how much longer I can live like this. Some interactions make me wonder why I even want this M. H can be very controlling and condescending at times, although I don't think a)he means to b)he realizes it or c)he sees it that way.
I'm 44 years old and more than capable of taking care of myself (financially would be a struggle right now). Have I made mistakes? Absolutely, like everyone.
Yesterday when cooking our dishes to take to SIL for dinner there were a few times he started to "make suggestions." Fine, he laughed it off.
We had decided to leave at 1 and I had made a couple of phone calls to my family, still had to shower and make one more dish, he was a little scolding when he said "I guess we aren't going to make our departure time." I didn't realize what time it was but luckily D16 asked to help and we were out the door at about 1:05!
Couple of other things that happened: I was vacuuming and noticed that the vacuum had an awful smell. He said he had used it when he shampooed the (nasty) carpet in the spare room when it was wet and admitted he probably shouldn't have done that. No big deal, I stopped vacuuming and put the vacuum in the garage. Had the situation been reversed he would have more than likely put me down and made a bigger deal about it. (speculating maybe, but that is what history shows.)
Today he was looking for his keys, I said to look on the hook to which he replied very sternly "don't put the keys there, it's right above the garbage can." Which has a lid and I have been hanging my keys there for 7 years and have yet to have to dig through the garbage to retrieve them! It's really his tone that irritates me.
He is out looking for a trailer now, and possibly an old jeep to refurbish, which unlike the past I am encouraging.
He continues to avoid touching me, sleeps in the other room, keeps his phone with him all the time and when he does take it out of his pocket briefly places it face down.
Not sure what the point of this post was, other than to vent and journal. Time to get busy doing something!
Me-44 (45) H- 50 (51) M-'96
S-18(20)D-15(17)D-12(14)
BD Feb 2014 (he works overseas) home Oct(sep rooms) (EAs possible Pa's unconfirmed) insists wants D through July 2015 no more talk of D since
