Thanksgiving was a success on the GAL front. Have to say it was quite pleasant and not nearly as difficult as I thought it would be.
H texted girls Happy Thanksgiving. I love and miss you. They both chose not to respond. I was neutral but did tell them that I was fine and that he was their Dad. He does love them. I said you can hate the behavior and love the person. I told him I still love their Dad and I try to remember our entire relationship. I said whatever the feel or choose to do is fine. I said I prayed for their Dad every day. They said they were not praying for him and were not saints. LOL -- I said to think about adding a short prayer for Dad. I must admit I kind of hoped they'd respond and that surprised me. They were very secure with their decision and so I did not push. It is all still new.
It's funny how we tried to raise these girls to be strong and independent. Neither one has gone boy crazy. In fact they are very active in service clubs, human rights and being leaders at their schools. They are both well respected among their teachers. They both say they are feminists. H wanted them to be strong young women. Ironic that this is backfiring on H as he has become somebody they can't respect.
I also find it ironic that I am the one with the most compassion for H yet now I am the enemy. His level of detachment towards me is understandable but a one sentence text every few months to his children? D16 has not heard his voice in 5 months and that was when she called him. D19 heard it a little over 3 months ago. no anger or attempt to call or visit just total detachment.
I will carry on. I have my girls and a lot of love and friends in my life. I will GAL and keep improving myself. I will be the heroine in my own life. it is a slow process but I will keep slogging through.
Oldest D said a text amounting to "insert holiday here" is not worthy of a response. She has a point.
This is the saddest part of the holidays for me. Knowing our family as we knew it is destroyed. It is gone. H lit a match and never looked back.
Last edited by 123Gwen; 11/28/1403:31 PM.
M:25 years at BD w/ 2 daughters BD: 5/14 Separated 6/14 - H moved cross country w/OW D Final 9/17
“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.” ― Maya Angelou