Newcomer Living in Hell 2

[bravo61]

just got back from Thanksgiving with the W,kids, and MIL. we met out a restaurant and had decent time. she sat by me and we laughed and flirted a little. when we spoke, we looked into each others eyes and leaned in close to hear each other. i said the prayer and thanked God for them and for the impt work that she (nurse practioner) and MIL does (teacher) and also prayed that we would be an example to the unsaved friends, acquaintances, and strangers that we met. we held hands during the prayer. i asked her if she wanted D to sit by her and she said "no you can sit by me". funny thing is D always wants to sit by her but i think D is trying to help me.

i was pretty charming told W and MIL that they both looked great and connected with MIL like never before. looked her in the eyes and listened to her. asked her about school and asked questions to show i was listening. W picked out my wine and we shared hers and mine. she talked about the needs for babysitting cause her schedule (sorry honey you are on your own). told her i knew she would figure it out (in a non-snarky supportive way). gave MIL a big hug and told her i hoped to see her before she flew back home and to call if she needed anything and it was great to see her. W gave me a big hug and presented her forehead so i could kiss it. she smiled real big and said that she's see me next week.

as they drove away, i only cried for a couple of minutes. i smiled and was pleasant without being needy or pushy. is there any hope for R after divorce or even a miracle to stop the D?

she did text me at 3a (both working nights) about a doll for D that she found. i did not reply. she brought it up today and i simply said i'd handle it.

i miss her so much. how is it possible for her not to miss me at all? does she have to date someone else to do that? i'm so confused and lost but i don't show her that.