Need help. Jefe wants to change himself. Pt 7

[Jefe]

I had a very wonderful time with my wife today. MIL came too.

I am completely overwhelmed with a flood of different emotions.

Wife got here a little early and stayed later than she was originally going to. (A little over 3.5 hours) and she seemed to not have much interest in going to Roger's (bio-dad) this afternoon with the girls as she had planned. I completely give in on Roger and that whole deal and she's loosing interest. Whatever. I'd rather they not go anyway.

We were gathered in the living room talking and catching up waiting for the turkey to finish warming. My Grandmother's house is covered, walls, table tops, etc, with photos of me, W, and kids from the beginning to now. Before dinner I caught the wife several times looking at all of the photos and tearing up. She was trying hard to not have anyone notice but I did. She teared up many times today. Not like her.

When we were plating up, we were the last 2 left in the kitchen and she leaned back into me and very sweetly said, "Oh, I almost forgot, Happy Thanksgiving." During dinner we were sitting at a corner of the table together and every single time I looked up at her she was gazing at me and catching my eyes as often as she could. She was eye catching and gazing at me before dinner, too.

This is the 3rd or 4th time she has been at a family gathering since the S. She really seemed to be more comfortable at the house with us than she has been since she left. Without running the risk of mind reading, I think she genuinely misses everything. The family was being very kind and respectful to W and MIL too. So that helped I'm sure. I know that both of them feel more comfortable with my family than they do with their own.

We had a very strange exchange during desert. My uncle was talking to my aunt and told her that she was a good wife. My W turns to me and asks "Am I a good wife?" I paused, I answered softly, "You have been the best wife." and I left it at that.

I kept a good PMA the whole time.

The negative stuff, half way through she went and got her phone from the car and spent more time than I would like doing something but it is her birthday and I think it was just a lot of birthday wishes.

30 minutes before she left she excused herself to make a short phone call outside. I am reading nothing into it. I cant. I simply don't have enough information, evidence, or knowledge to make a case for anything. So I choose to think positive thoughts for now.

She has gained about 15-20 pounds since she left. She looks to me to be the heaviest she's been in a real long time. Just because I lost 20-30 pounds didn't mean she had to find them. Just worried for her, she was always the healthier and better eater out of the two of us.

Only other negative instance was the awkward hug she gave me when she left. As much eye contact as she was making it was a very cold hug. Oh well I'll take what I can get.

Emotionally, I wish I could take away something from this. I know that I can't though. So what it leaves me is confused and lonely now that she's gone. Is this a positive step? Was this an anomaly? Who knows.

Giving it to God at this point.

We've got dinner with part of her family tomorrow evening. W can't be there because of work but kids and I are going. And Saturday evening we are going to my step-sister's house for a feast. Wife said she would like to go but again she has to work. At least we'll be busy with family.