Going Down Hill 2

[zed]

So Middle of last night after our mediation I got this email from my W. (we sleep in separate bedrooms)
I am starting to see a pattern and wondering if you can see it too...

1. a big part of the reason our Marriage falls apart is because you have a one track mind and won't listen to anything I tell you trying to get you to see the light in the situation

2. Marriage therapist tells us not to come back because you are set in your way of thinking and not willing to cooperate

3. Mediator is getting so fed up with trying to help us because basically everything she suggests about parenting plan you shut down bc you are being so difficult (when she asks you about work and hours you're just like,"I don't know, I can't have a schedule..." "I don't know - could be bad roads, etc."

Have you ever taken a step back to look at how narrow minded you can be? Seems to me the pattern is that you decide on one thing/way of thinking and won't consider anything else. I was also wondering how this way of thinking is working so far for you? I DEFINITELY know that I am not perfect either but I just am coming to some realizations based on recent events that maybe your typical approach to situations hasn't had the most positive outcomes... I know for a fact the more resistance there is in this situation the uglier it is going to get. And what I am referring to is the fact that you refuse to move out of this house - even temporarily - and are dead set on 50/50 with the kids without even hardly considering anything else.

I'm sure this is going to piss you off but at this point I really don't care. This could be resolved in a conflict free way but we are definitely heading down a different road and the sad part is that it's going to be the kids who suffer the most.

This is what I replied to her
I dont think that this piss' s me off. I know this of myself to an extent. I know at times i can have tunnel vision and that is one of the reasons our marriage failed.
But i dont know if you realize how many options i have thought of regarding this whole seperation thing. Every day i try to think of how you are feeling, what are the best options with the kids, and what i can possibly live with for the rest of my life. I have been very conflicted about this for a long time. There have been so many times i have thought to myself if i really am doing what is good, fair, and best for all parties. So it may seem like i am being stubborn or pig headed. But i do try really hard to put lots of thought into everything.
I know i am very far from perfect. But i am trying the very best i know how.
I am very open to discussing any options together with or without the mediator. I know sometimes it takes me a couple of days to reflect and come up with a different ideas.