My father isn't going to help. That just won't happen.
As far as my father is concerned, there is absolutely NO excuse for lying to him. I was already on a tenuous line with him.
My father will never, ever understand drug addiction, MLC, depression, a sexual assault that happened at my house, etc...
Dad understands Ferraris and trips to Italy.
I love my dad and always will...but, he has worked hard to create a relationship with each of his kids where the ugly, nasty truth of life never creeps in. We all follow the rules. You don't talk about unpleasantness with dad. You just don't.
When I lied, I was following his rules. In fact, chances are slim, he would have loaned me the money for the move had I told him the truth in June. Actually, I probably would have been bludgeoned, like he is now bludgeoning D20. I would have been annhialiated for allowing myself to get into such a precarious financial position again. That's just my dad.
There's a reason I lied. Even I didn't understand it completely at the time.
You think Smokey is a hard-a$$ about money...you never met my dad. He loves to be in a position to bail people out.
And, the reason I never called him?? Because if I have to hear the sighing, disappointed sound in his voice one more time...well, I think I will vomit. I'm not that lady anymore. I'm not that victim who the family can gossip about and say, "Poor Heather" OR "What is she thinking?"
He will quickly paste me right back into that mold. No explanations will do the trick.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
