Breathe! Express your anger here today so that it's not so evident around your daughters.
There's nothing you can do today or tomorrow about calling the local school. They reopen on Monday. Have your list ready w/questions for them.
Contact the homeschooling mom tomorrow.
If you are already attending a church, I think you are okay on that one.
Counseling? I think you've already started this process.
Call or go on line and schedule a landline order be put in place. They reopen tomorrow. Can't he contact her thru email on a laptop or computer? If he can do that, then I wouldn't be so worried about the phone issue.
Also, you did tell him that you would be moving. So, he was very much aware of the move, the job and that you were going to be going very soon.
The tools, dig out your email where you advised him and your lawyer what you did w/them. You'll probably need to address this issue again. The one thing in your favor is that he's had ample time to come get them before you gave them away. He knew that you were going to move and should have come to get them, in fact, he should have gotten them when he moved to his new place. But, that's water under the bridge now.
I would also pull any documentation that you have on what you paid to have repairs, upkeep, etc. done on the home since he left. If he wants to squeeze every dime out of you, then you need to have your documentation too.
Get all of your documentation together because the questions are now going to start coming. Why? Because he's angry about a lot of things, the house situation, tools and yes, the holidays are upon us and he's not happy that you are doing well, and because of this, he doesn't want to pay one red cent because you are working.
You need to address the retirement savings that he cashed out, if he did so. Even though he worked a job and you were a mom, you were still entitled to half of that when it comes to divorce. Whether you can get any of that back, will be something to address when the time comes.
The questions that are being raised a normal questions that are asked when separation/divorce is taking place. It's all part of the discovery process and as long as you have your documentation and what you've done w/things, you will be in good shape. You've got to keep a level head about this stuff because if you don't, you'll mess up.
I'm sure his child support didn't cover everything that your daughters needed in the way of clothing, etc., List what he paid you for support and when and then show what you had to pay in addition to what he gave you. I'm sure it's a bit more than what his check covered.
I don't think your lawyer is reactionary. I think he's been waiting for them to show their hand, which they've begun to do. Reactionary would be sending letters back and forth consistently and he's not done that.
Bottom line, you are going to have to do some homework and get your lists together very soon. Have you gotten the discovery package yet? It should spell out exactly what you need to address and yes, it's a lot of work, but it's got to be done. Heather, when I went down this road, I made a list of everything that was given to me as a gift, the value and who gave it to me, i.e, this also applies to anything in your home and not just personal items. I also made a list of what expenses that I had incurred on the marital home, and who I paid to have the repairs done, once he walked out, since he claimed that he was still co-owner of the home.
Try to stay calm because you need to stay focused and keep a level head. I know you feel that you are on the defensive, but this is normal stuff to the lawyers. Going thru the divorce process isn't easy or fun and it's got a lot of headaches attached to it, but when it's done, you'll feel a whole lot better.
Your rent and car payment being late is not a good thing...I know you have expenses, but the late fees are going to be tacked on and you don't want to set a pattern of being late and this will appear on your credit rating. You now have a landlord and he may frown upon lateness.
No 2X4's from me...but this is why I was encouraging you to talk to your father about the money he gave you because you may need to rely on your father and mother to help you out again with finances. Heather, please do not put this conversation off any longer. You are digging your hole deeper where it comes to your finances and I'm worried about that because it's difficult to get out of the hole once you've started sliding down into it.
