Lou, Bea is correct, there are not set time lines for MLC. It will take as long as it takes. Some are short, others long and then there are those exceptions where they stay in MLC for the rest of their lives. No one knows which ones will survive. It all depends on the individual, their personality, childhood issues and whether they can face those issues and realize that they were not at fault for those issues. Again, no set time line, as well as they don't do one stage at a time. They can bounce back and forth through anger, replay, depression and withdrawal for many months, even years.
The person you love is still stuffed deep down within his soul, but the "foo" issues have bubbled to the surface and they need to be resolved. You can love the person, but you don't have to like their behavior and trust me, the behavior can be rather ugly at times.
As for remaining NC when you relocate, we generally advise posters to have contact w/the spouse only in emergencies and to discuss the children and/or finances. He'll know where you are and how to get in touch w/you if he needs you. They don't generally remain quiet for a long time.
Continue to maintain your boundaries and live your life as if he may not return. Who knows what the future holds for you. Bea is right, you may find that your new life is wonderful and exciting and you may not want him back. Yes, ultimately, you will be the one to determine if you want him back, if and when he comes to you and asks to reconcile.
You are going to be fine. I know the unknown looks scary right now, but you sound like a very grounded lady who knows what she needs to do.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
