There are no times lines for MLC, and no expectation that they will make it through. Some do and some don't. And frankly while we can make things 'worse' arguably, we cannot make things better,
All MLCers seem to say they have been unhappy for years. And in their current state it has its own truth - but the evidence of external reality usually suggests otherwise. It is known that when people are depressed they cannot imagine any other way of being, and some believe that MLC is a form of covert depression with the escapist behaviours being attempts to deal with it.
I prefer to believe we were happy and that my xh is in MLC. But as I have already said, he left nine years ago. he isn't happy, but he hasn't dealt with any of his issues, and by now I do not think he ever will. And we were very very happy - from my perspective. So while I would not advise giving up hope, please have no expectations of how long it takes and whether the outcome will be positive.
The only thing I would say is do not judge them. It is tempting to do this when people behave with cruelty and deception towards their families, and put new people in their life first.
Maintain boundaries, and get on with you own life. If he comes through it it will be hard for you both, and you may find your new life is so compelling that you will be the one to decide you do not want him back.
You seem like such a brave person, and you will be fine.
