Considering where many people are on this forum I know I am lucky at this point to be where I am. It is however very easy to fall back into old habits as far as interactions. He of course has made no changes so the way he interacts with me is the same as it's always been (for the most part).
He was driving me a little crazy today. He's "bored" and is limited as to what he can do because of his back. He was watching tv and pacing around the house while I was making a grocery list and cleaning the kitchen. I asked if he wanted to go to the store and he replied "no, I don't want to do that." I didn't say anything negative to him but I was glad to get out of the house!
This is where the "same ole" interaction came in. Later in the afternoon I was out in the garage putting a second coat of stain on the picture ledges I made (yay me!) and he comes out and as usual starts telling me how to do it...this has always irritated me. I didn't say anything, just looked at him like "no $h!t." I have to try to figure out how to 180 these types of interactions. I guess the first thing I have to do is to not let myself get irritated! Maybe just smile and ask him to show me how to do it?!? IDK, it's obvious I knew what I was doing since it was the 2nd coat of stain.
He did kind of give me some compliments on them today, once said they looked good, then jokingly added for a girl. Later he said something else complimentary and then rolled his eyes. I asked (laughing) why he couldn't just give me a compliment, he said "I just did," to which I replied "and then rolled your eyes!" He laughed.
I guess this is what makes it so difficult and frustrating, everything seems so normal, and I want it to be...but again, that elephant!
Tomorrow we are having Thanksgiving at his sisters, as far as I know her and her husband are the only people he's told, and that was back in Feb and I don't think he's talked to them about it since! My goal, other than having a positive attitude, is to not say anything about him. I have in the past put him down in front of them, not purposely of course, and didn't even realize when I had done it except when he was mad at me and I finally figured out why.
Hope everyone has a happy Thanksgiving, and remember to be thankful for what you do have despite of what your situation may be right now.
Me-44 (45) H- 50 (51) M-'96
S-18(20)D-15(17)D-12(14)
BD Feb 2014 (he works overseas) home Oct(sep rooms) (EAs possible Pa's unconfirmed) insists wants D through July 2015 no more talk of D since
