I blew it! Wife wants a divorce and is moving out

[FaultyH]

Ok Mr. Bond, maybe I did not explain my point correctly and I apologize for that. I was writing using my phone, which is very annoying. What I am saying here is that in this current situation and in past situations, whenever we have an argument, even if it was started/caused by her, she will put 100% of the blame on me. FOR EXAMPLE: In New Year's Eve 2012-2013 she lashed out at me in front of my family because she wanted to watch the NYC Ball Drop live broadcast on TV but was not able to watch it from the beginning because we were not at our house (we were gathered at my brother's house). My brother politely explained her that he WILL put the ball drop 30 minutes before 12am. She replied "That’s fine, whatever!" and stormed out to the backyard in front of everybody. My brother was using the TV to play music. As he promised, he switched to the ball drop 30 minutes before midnight. She never thanked him and started arguing with me because "I wasn't being a man and I should have told my brother to put the ball drop as soon as she asked". I apologized to her for not being a man and continued to celebrate New Year’s. So according to you, MrBond, is this ok? Are you saying that it is correct for your spouse to put all the blame on you in most of the arguments and rarely apologize for what she did wrong? I am not saying I am perfect, or that I expect her to be perfect. I am asking her to be respectful to me and to others. Is that a "prideful" thing to ask? But one thing is true, I apologize and ask for forgiveness whenever I do something wrong and I also apologize even when I have done nothing wrong. I prefer to be happy with her than to win an argument. By the way, a similar incident happened in New Years Eve 2013-2014. As a matter of fact, I don't even know where you got the idea of me looking for a "perfect" wife. Look back to what I wrote; did I ever say that I have done nothing wrong? In fact, let me quote something that YOU posted:

When people lash out like that, it's out of fear and insecurity.

Therefore, you perceive my wife to be somewhat insecure. I went to take therapy by myself. The therapist asked for my W to join me in one of the sessions, but she refused to come. After visiting 3 different therapists, they all concluded that I did not have anger management issues. I NEVER EVER had anger management issues. And while I have some insecurities (just like you do and everybody else does), I have been working on them diligently and now I am better than before in that area. Again, I acknowledge I am not perfect.

The problem is that she doesn't see that it's all in her and not you.

So you first said that the problem was all on her, not in me. Now it turns out that now the problem is all in me. I am not asking you to defend me. I am not asking you to defend her. I am asking for mature, respectful, and consistent advice.

Why does she need to go with you? They're YOUR problems not hers. The anger, insecurity, etc. is generated by you and aren't caused by your W.

Just because she thinks I have issues, doesn't mean that she is 100% right. And how can you conclude that my anger is generated by me? So, if I get in your face and started to yell at you for any reason, would you not get angry?

She had issues in her past that had NOTHING to do with me. But whenever she asked me to join her therapy sessions, I never hesitated to go with her. As a husband, I need to be there for her. I need to be her rescuer, her "sanctifier", and her "satisfier." So let me ask you a question, is it correct for your spouse to decline your invitation to one of your therapy sessions but then you MUST attend one of her sessions? At that point I already attended several sessions with her therapist. I only asked her to join ONE of my sessions. In fact, a good therapist will see both sides of the story to determine what the real issue in the relationship is.

"But I refuse to admit things that I know I didn’t do. "
Like what? Just because YOU didn't think you were wrong, doesn't mean that it wasn't. That's just your pride talking.

When it comes to certain things that she says, I don't think I’m not wrong, I know I am not wrong. Again, this ONLY applies to some things that she said about me. Now, I see that you asked the question "Like what?" So here is an example: The day after the incident at the beach, she decided to divorce me. In order for me to regain her love, I stopped communicating with my immediate family and friends. I receive counseling from a mutual married couple that knows us for a while. I also received calls from her friends that gave me their advice. I stopped attending our church and started going to a different church in which nobody knew who I was or my background. I remained disconnected for almost 3 months. The reason I did this is because I wanted to protect her reputation from others and to concentrate in fixing things. She asked me to leave my family behind and chose her. First, I let her vent out at me for everything that happened without interrupting her or arguing with her (to this day I still do). I acknowledged every single mistake that I did (she even thank me for acknowledging all of my mistakes) and acknowledged her valid claims. I got on my knees while crying and asked her for forgiveness. I wrote 4 hand-written apology letters, one of them had four pages. I made a list of all of my mistakes. I acknowledged things that were not 100% true and things that I didn't even do. Again, it is better to be happy than to win an argument with your W. I brought her favorite flowers, and I once made a custom bouquet of flowers that had a specific meaning; from deep apology to the re-birth of our marriage. I kept cooking breakfast for her, I brought her favorite snacks, and I would compliment her every morning, as I usually did. I proposed her to go to couples therapy as a start in our rebuilding process. She agreed to go. But this is where things started to go more downhill. In the therapy she told the therapist that I would constantly abuse her physically. To be more specific, she claims that I punched her repeatedly and that I grabbed her by the neck whenever I get mad. This, my friend, is a complete lie. She not only told all of this to the therapist, she told these lies to her family and her friends. In fact, her family does not believe her side of the story. After this she refused to continue with the therapy. It is so curious that she used to accuse her exBF of being an abuser...see the pattern? She also said that I intentionally lied about her regarding the situation at the beach. According to her, I abandoned her at the beach. Again, this is another lie. THEREFORE, I refuse to admit things (these things) that I know I didn’t do.

"I still love her, but I am convinced that I tried my best."
Not sure what you mean. You haven't fixed any of the issues that landed you here in the first place, so I don't know what you actually "tried".

This statement is answered in the previous paragraph. And according to you, Mr. Bond, what are the issues that "landed me here in the first place?" After all, I am here to look for advice, not to be punished by being faulty and left without any sort of advice. That’s what my W does to me anyways :-P.
I truly hope I answered your questions. I am not perfect, and I am not pretending to be. I’m just trying to be a better person each day. Have a good night, gentleman.