In an hour or so, H is going to text me and tell me that D7 is asleep and I can come over to talk. We still have not decided our T-giving plans. H knows how I feel (basically, that there are no good options, but some bad options are better than others). I *think* he feels the same, but his "best of the worst" option is different from mine.
Here are the options on the table:
1. We drive 3 hours to see family, spending the holiday together as a family unit.
2. We drive 3 hours to see family, but we don't spend the holiday as a family unit (i.e., he goes to his parents, I go to mine, D7 goes to both).
3. We stay here and spend the holiday together as a family unit.
4. He and D7 drive 3 hours to see his family and I stay here. H doesn't know this, but a friend of mine has invited me to come over for a T-giving of cocktails and carry-out tomorrow.
My preference is #3, followed by #1, #4, and #2 in descending order. Of course (from what I can tell -- we've only had the briefest of discussions), H wants #2.
I'm trying to detach and not take that personally. I know that he is trying to protect himself (and to a certain extent, his family). Our progress is so tenuous right now. In this moment, I can say that it doesn't bother me. But tomorrow, when H is with his family and I'm not there, I'm scared I will fall apart.
Help me be strong! And detached!
(And hey, for all I know I'm going to go over to H's and he's going to say, let's spend tomorrow together!)
