On the brink, need a miracle

[Train]

I'm sorry, OG. I can tell you are feeling super-defeated. And I understand.

And I know this isn't what you want to hear, but sometimes in these kinds of situations, some time and space are exactly what you BOTH need.

When you're in each other's faces all the time, and if you are unable to figure out - and stick to - changes you need to make in yourself and your side of the M, then the problems in the M are not only not being fixed ... they're being MAGNIFIED. Living together provides more opportunities for our spouses to see our changes, sure. But if you are having a hard time implementing sustainable changes in your life - which would ultimately hopefully re-attract your W - and sticking to those changes, then your W isn't seeing any changes she can believe in. And she's definitely not going to want to meet you in the middle. In fact, she'll likely just dig in her heels even further.

All that to say: A S, while difficult on a family, could just be a bump in the road. And it could also be a blessing is disguise. Regroup. Don't allow a negative attitude - or ANYTHING your W is saying or doing - lead your decision-making. You get to decide when you're done. Maybe you are. Maybe you aren't. But a S isn't necessarily the end. I would have sworn to you, based on my H's words AND actions (we were S for 2 months earlier this year) that he was "too far gone." He was hateful. SWORE he was never returning home or to our M.

But he did.

Hang in there. Stiffen that backbone. Find your confidence. And keep us posted here.