Barrybran - A Year On

[Barrybran]

This is about as good a time as any to start a new thread. My last thread lasted four months so I've got a better grip on how to handle things. It's nice to have this place to air my thoughts though.

As nice as it is to air my thoughts, my wife has been reading what I've written. How much and how often, I don't know. She saw that I wondered whether she would use our kids as pawns to get her way and she called me out on it. I told her that I didn't know what to think at the moment; that she's never let me down but I don't know what she intends to do. It's a horrible feeling not trusting her but the honest truth is that I don't. She doesn't have my best interests in mind and I have to look after those.

She returned home Monday night and we spoke about our situation Tuesday morning. She stated that she wants the kids in the new town for the start of the school, which I understand. I told her that I wasn't going to sacrifice my relationship with the kids to make that happen and that I needed to be able to support myself there before I would agree to a move. She accused me of controlling things again, saying it was unfair that I had the kids and not her, etc. I told her that it was unfair but that it would also be unfair to go from going without one parent to going without the other. This continued for a while and eventually she went away and did something else for a while.

When she came back, my wife was a lot more cooperative. We worked together and came up with a solution which, while not ideal, would see the kids and I in her town in time for the new school year. I missed the kids terribly when I worked away so I understand how my wife feels. The kids miss her too so I don't mind starting afresh because it's the right thing to do by them. I did have a thought the other day that I have to figure out how much it will cost to actually move as it may have an impact on the 'when' side of things but the goal at the moment it mid-January.

In other wife-related news, she is definitely creating more distance. She has told me she wants to start dating again, she has referred to me as her "ex-husband" openly in front of me, and she is making plans to stay elsewhere when she returns home. It is approaching summer here so I am moving back into the master bedroom as it has a working fan and air conditioner and it will be far more comfortable for sleeping. It is also near the kids as the bedroom I was staying in, the guest bedroom, is at the other end of the house (and the fan doesn't work). I don't want to move as the kids will be confused and they've known it as "mummy's room" for some time now but we've had some hot nights here recently and I would like to be comfortable of a night time.

So now my next couple of months just got a little hectic. I still have work, kids, house and uni to sort out and now I can add finding new work, a new house, tidying up the current house and yard on my own, packing, moving and unpacking again. All in two months. On the bright side, my uni results are still good so I'm coping alright.

TL;DR - wife is creating more distance and I am planning on moving to her town in mid-January in time for the start of the new school year so the kids have access to both of us.