Just noticed... everyday for the past week my son says "I'm blessed... I have such a great family!" Then he smiles and laughs and runs around. He can tell.
Yes, he can tell. He's scared and this is his way of saying, "Look guys, we are great together. We are blessed to have each other. Please be happy, like I am". . Oh, doesn't it just break your heart what we do to our children?
Yes, I think I know pretty much how your W may feel. However, she may be nicer than I was, IDK. And her meltdowns are hard on you and maybe a little frightening, if she was the type to always be in control of her emotional state. I look back on my experience and can see where my meltdowns came b/c I was in a really bad place emotionally and physically. I had a ton of health problems (more than I was aware of at the time) and on so much medication till there's no wonder I was bonkers. Maybe she doesn't have the health issues working against her.
I think meltdowns are probably common for most WAW'S. It is b/c they are so messed up and confused till finally their bundle of nerves/stress just has to find release. Don't let her see you upset or reacting to her meltdown. If it is face to face, then do what you did the other night. Listen, but not jumping to her rescue. You don't have to say much of anything (in fact, the less the better), and put on your poker face. If it is through email, handle it about the same way. Not much response except to say, "I am listening". Maybe tell her at the end you need time to digest what she's said. But what you need to know is that her meltdowns does not require immediate action from you......other than simply listening and continue to STFU. Let her melt all those pent up emotions. She needs to do it to keep from going completely insane.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
. Oh, doesn't it just break your heart what we do to our children?
