If she's really going through some crisis, then she needs help, but YOU can't be the one giving it to her, since she's left because "she's not in love with you." This also seems to gave something to do with family life she needs to work out. She also needs to learn to be responsible for her own happiness.
Your I/C could not tell you if she was having an affair, by the way, since it goes against client confidentiality. You said there is no evidence of one, but she seems to be behaving AS IF there is one.
If she's nearing a breakdown there may not be an OM. But then, perhaps, there is.
If it's a question of "finding herself" let her do that. Perhaps, for the sake of your children, it's for the best that she doesn't see them everyday. Maybe one overnight on the weekend (or every other weekend) and one evening a week where she has dinner with them.
Again, please speak to a lawyer about this, to protect you home and your children's home.
If there's no OM, there's a real good chance this will blow over.
Regarding your changes, 180's and GAL activities. Please keep in mind most of us start them to win over our spouses and tell ourselves it's really for us. Some of these activities will help your wife become curious. They are not, however, long-term and sustainable activities. You can't remain super-dad and husband for the rest of your life. You will, inevitably, slip up. IF that's the ONLY thing bringing her back home, your reconciliation will be temporary. Your wife has to figure out that leaving the home and damaging your children is not the way to solve marital problems. SHE needs to change, too.
Some of your changes are probably necessary, long overdue and need to be permanent. But please remember that piecing your marriage back together and Divorce-Busting are different activities. Right now you are making your demands small, sacrificing, working on yourself, listening, etc. When you reconcile you BOTH have work at it. It's no longer the rd500 show. Please remember that.
