We did one or two sessions of MC back in 2009 after one of the times I got caught. At the time, I tried to make a commitment to stop my behavior, but it was short-lived. I also didn't take MC (or our marriage in general) as seriously as I should have (and certainly not as seriously as I do now that it seems too late. She most definitely is holding onto resentment. The healing never took place.
Yes, she did express to me. She questioned herself a lot. She didn't want to be a failure, and it killed her inside because she is so successful in everything else she does. She also said that despite the fact that I hurt her, she did everything she could to protect me and make excuses for me. This is why she never ever shared her story or pain with any of her friends or family (until now).
She has told me on numerous occasions that the OM has nothing to do with her decision to leave. Of course, it's hard for me to believe it since her decision coincided with the start of her affair. I know the OM is more successful, but she has told me that his success is irrelevant. Maybe he's better looking. I don't know. Maybe he touches her emotionally in a way that I can't or never have. I don't know him, and I never met him, so I know little about him (other than what my W has told me). I think one thing that I'm pretty sure of is that he "gets" her, and understands her. My W has indicated to me (even recently) that I don't really know or understand her. She has absolutely no remorse about what she's doing to the OMW and their children. She acknowledges the harm being done, but there is no remorse.
My main goal before she files for D is to be as detached as possible and mentally prepared for her decision. I've thought long and hard, and I think the thing that pains me the most is the thought of my children growing up in a broken family. I am also very sentimental, and I am saddened when I think of the house that we built, the memories we've shared, etc., and the idea that all of it will be flushed down the toilet.
Thanks.
M: 15 years BD: 6/25/14 EA/PA: starts 5/14/14 11/30/14 - A ends 5/15/15 - D is finalized. 11/28/15 - Start of new LTR with a wonderful woman (and still going strong)!
