I think you've pretty much figured out why he doesn't want to do things w/you....he doesn't want to get close and actually feel something for you. They tend to make excuses when we ask them to do things w/us, not only do they not want to be around us all that much, but they also do not want to commit to anything. They like to "young and free". They never know what might come up and they don't want to feel like the bad person should they need to cancel. You mentioned to him about not wanting to do things w/you and you got your answer for now...he doesn't want to do things w/you at this point, so stop now you know not to ask him.
As for asking him about the divorce and if he's thought about not getting it...you may want to stop asking him. The questions you ask are not giving you the answers you are seeking. I'm going to suggest that you not bring up any more topics on your relationship and divorce w/him. The more you ask about he divorce, the more determined he's going to want it.
Try to keep the focus on you and your children. I know you have questions, but his answers are most likely going to be negative and not what you want to hear. I'm sorry, he's still in the deep part of his tunnel for now.
