Thanks ladies! I have to finish the course before I can start and that will probably take 2 weeks or so. I got a message today (got it too late to return the call dang it!) from one of the people that I'll be working with asking if I could meet Friday after TG to go over some things. Thing is I will be out of town at D19's and she needs me to take her to work so I won't be able to meet. I'm sure he will understand as many people travel on TG. I just wish I had gotten the message earlier and returned the call right away. Don't want to look like I'm not reliable.
I have D14 with me and she is VERY excited about seeing her sister. I think this is going to be a fun trip. I'm hoping I get the money in my account in time to buy a turkey and trimmings on the way to D19's tomorrow. They told my parents at the bank it would be in tomorrow but it's not there yet. We will see. I'm already feeling a lot less stressed what with having money to pay the bills and buy food AND this new job coming up. Now I have to call my lawyer as I got a message that he wants to talk to me about the D and what we need to do moving forward. last time we talked he said she wanted to go to mediation but he wanted to meet and hash out a final agreement. I hope that hasn't changed. I think he is upset because I just can't tell him when I will have the time to meet. I made the choice that finding a job and making some money came first, the D can wait until my life is stable. I don't want to spend money on mediation after my W was the one who forced me to get a lawyer in the first place after we had agreed to do it through mediation. Heck, if my W wants to get this over with all she has to do is agree to allowing me to keep the house (which according to my lawyer I'm entitled to as I brought so much much more $ into the M and my W only brought thousands in debt that we all but paid off over the years, debt she had BEFORE we got M). To me, if W thought she could win, she wouldn't ask for mediation and her lawyer wouldn't want it if he thought he had a case that would win in court. Oh, and I picked up the letter from the IRS and that is going to cause me to hire someone to help me or owe $20,000+! I haven't even done a thing about that as I couldn't pay a penny even if they came after me.
Oh, well. Just another day in stress land. Some days I still can't believe this is my life now. I worked so hard to keep us financially stable over the years while my W stressed but was too "upset" to help with the bills. I remember the year she quit her first job after we had our first D. D was 3 and we had been putting her in daycare so we both could work and W hated her job and having to leave our D every day. I got a promotion and had just started making really good money, enough that we could afford for her to quit. I asked her to work one more year so we could save and have a nest egg. She started to cry and said that she just couldn't leave her D in day care one more day. We had just found out she was pregnant with D #2 so was probably hormonal. I gave in right away and for the next 15 years I was the only one making money. If she had worked that extra year, we would have been so much better off as with just me working, we never were able to save. When I started to make even better money we decided to put the kids in private school. W was supposed to go back to work when both girls were in school during the day but when that happened, she was too depressed to work. Yet, now my W wants to say I never was "good with money" (part of her spew). Blames me for not having a better house, nicer things, more retirement funds. I spent half of the years we paid off this house with her so depressed I couldn't even count on her to pick up the girls from school, let alone make dinner for us. Now she is saying she was home taking care of the kids all those years. Well, maybe at first but for a big part of that time, she wasn't taking care of anything. Yet I'm the bad guy. The more that this goes on, the more I see how our M wasn't working. Through it all I remained supportive and did what I could to try and lift my W up. When it finally looked like she was getting better, she was working and not just sleeping all day. I was so happy. I thought that I would get my W back. What I got was her totally leaving her m and wanting a D. Her blaming me for every bad thing that ever happened, for "allowing" her to become depressed. At least now I can see that she is having a MLC. Until I found this site I was so confused as to what happened. Did I do something to cause this change in her? Now I find myself having to fight her for the things I worked so hard for US to have over the years. To have to figure out who gets our D's on what holidays.
