Good. She's supposed to feel that way. It's not your job to protect her from the consequences of actions. Don't try and be the hero and try to alleviate her guilt. Let her fall flat on her face, because that's how we all learn.
You seem to be pretty lenient with her. She comes and goes in your home as she pleases. You might want to think through what arrangements are best for you and the kids and set some boundaries. Remember your job is not to make this easy for her.
When she told you she couldn't stand the thought of you moving on with someone else, you told her that was the furthest thing from your mind. What you told her, in effect, was, "Gee honey, I'll always be waiting here for you - you go ahead and have your fun. Please feel free to keep me as you plan B." How is she going to sense that she is already pushing you away - poentially into the arms of another woman?
It is your job to protect your children and your own future. Your wife is pretty unstable and you don't know what she might do. I strongly suggest you speak to a divorce attorney and find out about your rights. The pattems you establish during your wife's exodus might set a precedent should things go south and you get divorced. You are at an advantage since she left the house.
