How to start rebuilding? - 2

[Hoju]

Thanks Nitty, I try to focus on me and on GAL, PMA and detaching. I've done so much for myself, counseling (both solo MC and IC), I quit wasting time on computer games, I've been working out, learning a new language, reading, started more vigorously managing my own stock portfolio, eating better and trying to make sure I get to bed at a decent hour every night. I've also reconnected with plenty of friends and have been on several trips with them, I'm hardly ever home my life is so busy. I've always been a very positive person and have managed to avoid letting the world get me down so keeping a PMA has been easy... at least to the outside world. However, I still feel a great void and emptiness, I'm lonely and without purpose. I know GAL and detach is to help with this feeling but I just can't get rid of it, everything reminds me of her.

I met with a friend for some rock climbing this weekend. Over a couple of beers he told me that he had been at a Christmas tree lighting ceremony with W and that she was there with OM. Now it is official that they are dating and the fears I always knew to be true but hoped they weren't are breaking my heart all over again.

W is still very pleasant with me and we've texted quite a bit these last few days as we get the final things finished for the home sale. I asked if she would like a couple of wedding artwork pieces that we had, I just told her to leave them if she just planned to throw them out and I would keep them. I came home tonight to find they were still here, it hurts to think she really didn't want them at all and would just toss them (I know lose the expectations, and honestly I didn't expect OM to carry out a picture of every ones best wishes on our wedding day). W has also blocked her friends from tagging her in photos, I assume this is to prevent her family from seeing that she is already with someone else, however I don't really mind so much as she's left all of her pictures up which are primarily of me, good times we've had and our wedding, I'm sure it will hurt again when she takes those down but for now it's nice to see them.

Sorry for the long winded post, it's been awhile and a very emotional week for me with the house and learning the truth about OM.