Left the wife's place a little while ago after going to see my son. I think things went really well, but I am too afraid to hope.
As I've mentioned I have been dealing with a wall of anger and coldness in every exchange we had been having for months. Tonight, I played with my son for a while while she puttered around her place. I asked her how her week went, and off she ran into a ten minute run down of how her week went.
She seemed so animated, so into her story that I wondered for a moment if she remembered that she was talking to me. My normal way to converse would have had me interjecting a bunch of my opinions, but I kept my mouth shut and only said, "that's cool" or 'that [censored]' in appropriate places.
That conversation would down and I thought that would be the last of it. Then I asked her about a new painting on her wall that I recognized as belonging to her grandmother. She immediately started telling me stories about the painting and how she used to view it and the stories it would tell her as a little girl. Again, I pretty much kept my mouth shut and just listened. It was wonderful.
She mentioned her and my son were going to watch a movie together. I almost tried to invite myself. But then I said, "I should go so you guys can watch the movie before it gets too late'. I left a few minutes later.
I walked out stunned. This was the best moment I have had with my wife in a long time. Something so simple and small had a very profound effect on me. It felt like (the better part of) old times.
By the time I had gotten to my car, I was reminded completely of what i was fighting for. And how very much I miss it.
I don't want to get ahead of myself or read to much into it, but I can't help it. I want this to be a good sign so badly I can taste it. Needless to say this has left me very confused yet hopeful.
I want so badly to call or text her right now. But...patience. Baby steps. Caution, man, caution...it would be so easy to blow this right now. Baby steps.
