Calibri, there's so much I want to say in response to your past few posts but I'm headed out to take D to karate and then dinner, bath and editing, whew!
I just want you to know I'm reading and thinking about you. There are just a few points I want to make that helped get me ME focused and less H focused, and that has made all the difference.
Hang in there.
I'm sorry about the loss of your friend. No expectations about H going to the funeral. You have a friend to honor, you don't need him there to do that.