Busting this Divorce - Standing Firm

[HPoirot]

Journaling...

Only one phone call this entire day from W about some logistical matters. Very nice. Got a little work done too.

Also, reached out to my father today. We have not talked much over the years and that was one of my W's worst issues with me... my bad familial relationships. She is very angry my S11 does not know my dad well and that my extended family is not as close knit as hers. My dad had a line on a condo my family could stay at for a few months while we find a more permanent place to live. This will cut our living expenses by 75%. This addresses my W stress about finances. And it's closer to my s11's school. It all came together and I'll see my dad for a drink on my birthday. GAL achieved. Texted W about the condo as that was the thing stressing her this morning. She called and asked questions. Told me how proud she was of me and how much I helped her.

She also told S11 we'd be moving and about his likely new school next year. He was upset but I sat an talked with him. W then texted me... "Immensely proud of you. Thanks so much."

I'm noticing how she says she's proud of me lately with my changes. I'm not sure this is positive. More like a pat on the head. Nice but means nothing.

Anyway... she goes out to buy groceries. For a while I did most of the cooking b/c I'm a great cook. I thought this was something W really appreciated but now I see how I was the scrambling pleasing husband. Plus, I liked to keep what I was cooking secret as a surprise... plus got irritated when she came into the kitchen as I did not appreciate her cooking skills. All bad husband mistakes. My 180 is to let her cook, not interfere, and praise her cooking.

When she comes home... I am on the phone upstairs having a funny conversation with a work colleague. Another 180... just be friendlier with people I work with. She has brought home the rum I like. She made me a drink and came upstairs to give it to me. I said no thank you with a smile and went back to my call. She walked away.

She made nice shrimp tacos which I praised her for. She brightened up a lot.

While S11 was out the room, she asked me again if I wanted to watch our zombie show. I messed up here.

I said "we'll see."

She said "are you sure? or are you too tired." (my lame excuse last time.)

I said something non-committal.

She said, "if you don't want to watch with me, you should just say so."

I said politely "well as long as I don't know about OM, then no I don't think we should watch together." This was not my script as I forgot it.

She says irritatedly, "There's nothing to know about OM. I made myself clear in my email (where she said she would stop contact but implying now that was not what she meant). We'll just live together as best we can. I'll watch it when I want and you watch when you want."

Now she acting all happy looking at her phone like she won something.

So I feel I really screwed up there with a very weak response to her testing. I should not have brought up OM. I'm don't see how to get to MC anymore without her bringing it up again which I already shut down yesterday. Is this MC/OM thing that I fought for yesterday now salvageable?

Now I wish I'd taken that drink she made for me.