Angry WAH blames me for everything.......

[Calibri]

Rough day today - a friend of mine died last night - so have a funeral to attend this weekend. Not the way I wanted to GAL, but hey - it's out of the house. Notified H and asked if he would go to the funeral. He initially said yes, but I don't know if he will or not. Regardless, it's not about him, but honoring my friend and supporting the family.

Thanksgiving. Blech. Everyone's talking holiday plans at work. It's weird, for the first time in 10 years, I don't have the anxiety of going to IL's house for the holidays, and strangely, I miss it. Not the anxiety - but the ritual of going, I suppose. Have NO idea what that means. Will spend a low key day with my family. Lots of food, and Netflix I'm sure. It will be sad. Last year was the first holiday without my grandfather (as he had passed away). This year is the first holiday without H there. Not sure how to process it -- except to get through it.

No idea what H plans on doing for Thanksgiving. We haven't exchanged more than one word text messages since Thursday due to him being in a foul mood. He's decided to distance himself from me when his moods are less than pleasant because he, "has taken enough of his anger out of me and doesn't want to do that to me anymore." While I consider that progress, I also wonder if he's going to use that as an excuse to limit conversations in the future because he doesn't want to have them. Guess we will have to see how it plays out.

IC tonight where I plan on talking about last week's ridiculous (in my opinion) therapy session with H and his IC. My frustration with H's IC (I'll touch more on that later) but hope to change the tone in my IC from "why me" to positive goals. Talking about detaching, boundaries, 180's, etc.