I think it does matter bc he's the father of my children who need him... I've currently been trying to convince myself to remain invested emotionally in his coming back because my children deserve an intact family and they deserve for him to get out of his childish behavior.
They absolutely DO deserve those things, you're right. But you can't change what he's doing, or stop what he's doing or make him want to be involved. Wondering why he's doing this stuff, or what it means that he's doing it doesn't change your control over the situation.
Focusing on those things is mind reading and it's a cheese-less tunnel - you're guessing about the motivation, and have no way of knowing if you're right or not, so it's pointless to even think about.
I'd be dollars to donuts HE'S not even sure of what he's doing or why. He's in alien mode.
There are better things to focus on to keep yourself and your kids healthy and happy through this trial, and they're going to need you more than ever right now.
ME: 38 BF: 40 T: 10y, no kids, no M (by choice) BD: 7/14/14, BF admits to PA, wants out, lies about new R. 10/1/14: I move out, BF lies about move in with OW 12/4/14: OW confronted, reveals all the lies
