Hi Toots, I agree with you. He didn't expect boundaries from me. He never had to deal with it. I am a very open person, I do not have secrets. H will be very angry when he finds out I changed the locks. Yeah, I think he will go to the house even if I asked him not to and he will stay there all four days we will be out. So, I decided to change the locks tonight. H rented a room on someone's house and found out later on that they have a cat and four dogs. H has allergies and asthma and he has a very hard time w/cats. Well, for 18years I have the house very clean so he would never have asthma, now it is not my problem anymore. I am trying to maintain a pleasant R with him during this time, but it seems that the more I detach, the angrier he gets. Probably his R w/OW is going well and he really needs to move on w/D... mind reading. I really don't know him anymore, I am doing my best to be strong for the kids and myself. I keep saying to myself that there is the practical side that I need to focus without any feelings... I need to look after our financial stability, our house, our future (the kids and mine). H wants to sell the house and use the money to get some small place for himself and said that I can easily find a rental for me and the kids...Nope, thanks, I won't do that. I will keep the house no matter what. Toots, you asked me how I know about the OW. End of 7/14 when he dropped the D bomb, he said he had feelings for someone, that he was not in an affair, and never had anything to do with this person, but he though she had feelings for him too. Later, talking to him I asked if it was a coworker and he said sort of it. Then he got a airplane ticket on his miles but charged the taxes on our bank card. I called and found out the ticket was for France. His brother lives in Paris. I did some snooping (maybe bad for me) and found out that he has a lady in his welcome sales meetings list that leaves in Paris, is 50y old, has two older kids (25,22) and she is divorced. That I know it is her, no. But I have a gut feeling it is. I asked H to came clean with me and just talk very clear about this whole thing, but he does not want. He wants me to just understand that our marriage is over and there will never be us again. He is done for good and moving on and wish that I move on too. Hurts... I am read 37 rules and try my best to detach and not worry about what he says, but sometimes I feel like it is all he wants and he is not coming back. I am confused...
