It could be argued that I pushed my H away. I was under no illusion that we were happy, whereas you were very happy in your marriage.
The lack of ownership on our H's part, I'm convinced is something that only time can change but I have no expectations. I do have hope but since I can only change myself, I have to separate my hope from a mutual hope and make it more singular. Once I actually figured out how to do that (through all my avid supporters, especially labug and uRworthy among about 20+ others), I felt an actual relief wash over me.
I only have to worry about me?
Really?
Yep. And it's helping me detach significantly, figure out and BE who I want to be (not that condescending, self-protecting b!tch who keeps score all the time and tries to teach lessons by being emasculating).
You seem very level headed, Calibri, and that's to your advantage. Stay your course, lean on us and GAL.
It has helped to have limited contact. I've had to set some boundaries, as you read above, but in did it strongly and unlike the old me. I'm proud of that and I'm taking that success along this journey. I'm tired of counting my failures. I only have room for successes.
