KGirl con't

[KGirl]

"You give up power when you think you have to answer questions from people with no personal stake in your life and that it matters how they judge you." - yes, that's it, I'm worried about how they'll judge me unless I spill everything. The whole caring so much about what others think is something I need to work on (though, probably a thing for most people, I think).

I am kind of scared that as the fog leaves, I'll find that maybe I do believe he did me a favor, and maybe this is actually a good thing :S which to me means now I'm being like him and just giving up. There were plenty of times where he betrayed my trust and was disloyal, without actually physically cheating on me. 25 - there was some earlier point where someone else posted to me, quite bluntly, that I was always H's plan B. At the time and up until recently I heard that but didn't necessarily want to believe it. I thought that maybe he was just confused, he didn't realize what he had, and he could come around like some sort of fairytale and tell me he realized how great I was and I really was his first choice. Well, that hasn't happened in almost a year now, and it may well not happen ever, so I guess I need to give up that fantasy.