Sorry you're in this mess, but you have come to the right place. Listen to the vets on here (I'm not one of them, by a long shot). This forum has been a godsend to me.
My WAW has criticized (in no particular order)
That I read books too much
That I spend too much time in the bathroom and do it to get away from her.
That I play golf (The last round I played was in 2012)
Depending on her state of mind, she tells me that I ruined her life, and the 19 years of our marriage have been a lie (can't really pin her down why)
She brought up things I supposedly did that I don't even remember. I've always been up front about owning my mistakes, but it really helps if I can remember the mistake in the first place. I certainly can't count on HER recollection.
She told me about something wrong I said to her a year ago. I did say it, and I regretted it. Problem is, it was over 4 years ago. She often can't even details right when she does find things to criticize. When challenged, her answer was always "What difference does it make?" My answer was always "If you can't even get the timing right, how good is your memory really?"
I'm surprised she hasn't criticized the size of my ears yet, but our sitch is still ongoing.
My point is, unless there has been really serious marital issues like infidelity or abuse on the part of the LBS, a WAS is mentally ill in a way. Maybe not in a way that can be clinically diagnosed, but their perception of reality is really screwed up. They are lost and hurting and scared. Always remember that.
It is vital to your detaching and to your sanity to believe almost nothing they say. It's in the 37 rules. Once you're able to do that, you can weather their storms much easier, and succeed at the all-important detachment.
I'm following your thread with great interest. Grace and peace to you.
Ex Rzrback Me 43 Her 44 D11, D15 T21, M19 BD 9/9/2014 Piecing
Sometimes if you want to see a change for the better, you have to take things into your own hands - Clint Eastwood
