I'd give up more than a holiday for the opportunity to reconcile with my wife. Its kind of interesting you mentioned not to be, "scared to let her have the experience without you". This, in general, frightens me deeply. Not just with this holiday, but in general. She has somehow forgotten every good thing we had (I know, WAW...and thank you for your input into this, Sandi, it's been immeasurably valuable to me)so I feel like I can be easily replaced as I am very much the 'bad guy' in her mind. This frightens me to the core of my very being.
I wonder if there are times that she misses anything about our marriage. About me. Like I mentioned earlier in this thread, I can recall hundreds and hundreds of wonderful moments...it hurts to think that she doesn't seem to recall even one.
In the end, it is what it is until it isn't. And I will not give up on my marriage, my family, until there is nothing left to fight for. I'm not there yet. Not even close.
