Thank you for your input, SSMGUY.... we have tried that, but it's not my cup of tea.... I still need the physical connection with him, and that doesn't give me it.
I can really understand why you feel that an open marriage is not your cup of tea. As you say you need physical connection with your H. I feel the same way.
One author of relationship books says that all parts of a relationship have an LD and HD component. For one member of a couple, one is more HD to watching football on the weekend, while the other might prefer to go for walks or out to a movie or play. Similarly, one is more HD for chocolate ice cream than the other who prefers strawberry ice cream. If you really need chocolate ice cream 4 days a week and your spouse never wants it, does that mean you have to deny yourself chocolate ice cream for the good of your marriage?
What I think SSMguy was trying to tell you is if sexual frequency is the only problem in your marriage and it is non-negotiable and you like all other aspects of your M, then an open marriage can for some be a solution.
For most the emotional aspects, medical (safe sex), and social aspects make it a non-starter. But if your H really does need (for all the wrong reasons) sex 4 times a week and the best you can do is 2 times a week, enjoy those two times a week, and tell him to find his happiness. Hopefully, his happiness will involve masturbating as opposed to seeing another woman, but you may or may not ever find out. For some that is a better option that having sex zero times a week, divorce or constantly fighting about sex. For me fighting about sex is really fighting about other things within the marriage. For me my vows to my wife and her trust are important. You need to figure out your own situation and what works for you and your H.
Good luck.
>43 years of marriage--My wife and I are now closer than we have been in decades. I believe that my SSM is over.
