Newcomer Living in Hell 2

[bravo61]

I can understand that confusion. Did I while arguing with her call her names? No, never. Did I question her love for me during fights? Yep. She was nagging me in fights(my perspective). I was telling her how she should or shouldn't feel during fights. I felt that I was being attacked when she was asking me to address her needs or even just listen. I had no idea of the differences in which we were both assuming the other thought.

I'm looking at our relationship as she saw it and I can see how it was horrible for her. There are no excuses or even justifications I could offer. The point is is that although I never hit, called her names, or cheated on her the emotional pain I caused is just as real. I didn't tell her how much I appreciated the hard work she did. She worked full time, took care of two kids, was in grad school all while her Dad was sick. And her husband was cloistered up in his man room. I sucked!

That in combination with not being a generally happy person and not being their for her led her to this decision. It has led me to see a lot of things about myself and my behavior I didn't like. I know it would take a long time if ever for her to give me an opportunity to be together again as in, or for her to even forgive me.

But my behavior and who I am is the only thing I can control.

I do miss her so much and I know how great it could be.