If you had the power to see into the future, and see that the M does survive, would it help you get through this pain? I think it would.
You are wanting all of this to end as of it were a nightmare. You wake up and everything returns back to normal. Who can blame you? Since we have been in somewhat similar stitches, we can tell you that even though you had rather be quickly delivered from all of this.......you have to go t-h-r-o-u-g-h it.
If i may share a personal experience about going through the pain....... I was in labor and experiencing pain like I had never had before, I was suddenly afraid. I wanted the baby, but the pain was causing me to be afraid of what was happening.....and what if it got worse? What if I couldn't handle it? What if it killed me? I began to pray and say, "God please help me!" You may think this is a little dramatic, but I felt God's peace settle over me. It was as if He was telling me, "Sandi, you have to go through this process, but I will be with you all the way". And He was. Although it was painful, the result was a love like I had never experienced before.
Your day is dark and filled with fear. However, you can go through the pain and fear and look forward to the end result. You may be thinking that your stitch is different from giving birth. Maybe not. Maybe a new M will be born out of all this pain. I pray it will be a greater love for you and your W. It can be. I believe that with all my heart. I hope you will see this as steps or a process to get there.
(hugs)
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
