Crying came earlier today than I thought it would. Sobbing now, honestly.

I'm afraid because this one email from W seems like everything I came to this site for that first day with my first angry desperate post. Every decision since seemed like the worst choice of my life... like the end of my M. Like I failed my boy. Like I failed myself. Like I failed my W again.

I want her email to be the beginning of the end of this road. I really really do. I want to grab onto this email with everything I have left.

And I know better. This is far far from the end of this road.

I do not want to do this. I really don't.

Message sent. Word for word.


Me: 44
W: 45
S: 11
Married: 15
Together: 18
BD: 9/29/2014
OM discovered: 10/16/2014
I left her behind: 12/14/2014