Yes HP you need to slow this down. I see positives in her waffling, but right now she knows that she can turn to you each time she has a brief change of mind. She sounds incredibly confused and frustrated, which I suppose is better than her just being completely complacent, BUT you need to gently make yourself less available to these rapid changes of mind.
By now, it seems that you have made it clear that you are open to a whole range of options to save your M once OM is gone. Her efforts to explain away OM show her confusion, she wants to downplay him so she doesn't have to cut him off completely in case your collective efforts fail. You must be firm that this won't work for you.
Do not respond to each of these shifts. Wait. Make it clear once more if you must, where you stand. She's smart enough to know what you want.
M: 33 W: 33 M: 9 T: 10 3 S's: 8, 6 and 1.5 BD: 8/3/14 Living together
