So, how did it go yesterday? I'm sorry I didn't manage to reply last night - but hopefully you got through it ok, even if you were feeling a bit wobbly. Which is understandable in the circumstances.
And even if it didn't go as you hoped, remember that we don't all get it right all of the time. These are difficult times and we have to be compassionate with ourselves.
I just wanted to clarify. How do you know about OW anyway? I'm not sure if you explained that earlier? And, although he knows that you are concerned about a possible OW, he doesn't know that you know - is that right?
And at this point he hasn't admitted to an OW?
I think the 'friends' thing is challenging. I tried to do that with my H. But I found it tough. I'm not his friend, I'm his W, and he has betrayed our vows. At one stage, he started confiding in me about how difficult his R with OW is. How she can be distant, he doesn't feel cherished, and she doesn't always treat him well.
At that point, that was it for me. I couldn't be that confidante for him, and I told him so. He understood and acknowledged he had probably said too much about her. For now, I think he regards our R as 'over.' And has told others this too, which hurts. but I also know that things are extremely rocky with OW. She is still abroad with OM in the picture. H is issuing ultimatums to her....so we'll see.
Time and patience will tell for all of our sitches...
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
