1) He is pi$$ed at me for a) not cc'ing him on my response to the director (which is a valid concern, but in my defense, I wrote it while recovering from a major migraine); and b) for not alerting him to the director's response for 2 days. Fine, I can validate that, too.
2) He said "although I would rather hear about what D does on a day-to-day basis, I'm generally not going to argue with you for choosing not to do that" (in regards to the fact that I don't generally tell him what I do with D. So, he's pi$$ed about that, too, even though he doesn't generally share with me how he spends his time with D. Sometimes he'll tell me that she wasn't listening, or had trouble sleeping or something, but he doesn't tell me what happened in gymnastics class, and when I call to say good night to her he won't even talk to me on the phone. at all.
3) I went back and forth so many times about whether to share with him the director's email, because I feel like he's unwilling to consider the fact that his choices have had a negative impact on our D. (His mom, his family, his friends all say, "look at how resilient D is! She's terrific! This is all she knows! She's great!" If I am the ONLY one saying the opposite... that makes me look pretty terrible. So, I keep my mouth shut. I was afraid that he would assume that I had insinuated something or had been talking with her teacher somehow about this, or that I've been asking D about it. I haven't done any of those things.
I'm not explaining this well, but I hope someone gets what I'm trying to say.
The fact that the ONLY response he has to this is anger towards me for not telling him sooner is revealing. Now that I think about it, WOW-- it says a lot that he didn't write something like, "I'm frustrated you didn't share this with me sooner, but I want you to know I'm sad to hear this, and I hope we can speak with her teacher together soon to help her."
It was all about HIM, and how the school director and I disappointed him. Interesting. (NPD?)
Ok, realizing THAT makes me feel better.
I will respond with a validation of his concerns... but I don't know what else to say. I don't know if I get to bring up any of my concerns... This DB stuff is so, so hard.
