One other thing I might clarify: Where we live and in our minds, my W is not having an A at the moment. She left me, then she got together with this OM. It's not even an OM, by our standards: it's her new BF and I'm her XH. The only time D was brushed upon, she talked it about it like it was just paperwork. We got married in court, at short notice, and to an extent to get some papers in place. Nevertheless, we held hands, exchanged rings and vows with tears in our eyes, had a few friends with us, took pictures and went for dinner. We celebrated our anniversary every year. So it's important, but maybe not like some people who are more religious or made a bigger deal of their wedding. For my W, her wedding ring was always just one ring among many (how fitting now!).
I'm clarifying this because there seems to be a view that I have some moral high ground, that she's currently cheating on me, her H. I do believe that she had an EA with this OM before she left me, but based on it, she quickly ended our R and went with him. She did it as cleanly as possible. We're no longer together so, even if we're still married on paper, to her we're simply separated for good and free to do our own things.
This is, by far, the craziest rationalization I've ever heard from a LBH!! OMG!!! This is mad, mad!
Really.
Contortion Word Olympics aside, I have news flash for you: This is an affair. Period.
Oh goodness. My curiosity is piqued big time:
I do believe that she had an EA with this OM before she left me, but based on it, she quickly ended our R and went with him. She did it as cleanly as possible.
Does that^^ make it okay for you, Mozza???!! You even mentioned "EA" which suggests affair.
